When Hate Plays "Dress Up"

Do you remember playing “dress up” when you were a kid?  Whether you had an actual costume that was your size, or you went to your mom/dad’s closet and pulled out their wardrobe.  Sometimes, just putting on makeup and a necklace made you feel like a different person! Even on Halloween, the fun about that holiday as a kid, was getting candy and…dressing up!

You normally see children portraying doctors, lawyers, famous athletes, celebrities and so on.  Some are witches, ghosts, skeletons, scary movie characters, and animals.  You also have adults who come to work around this holiday that like to wear costumes or become a character for one day, but it’s only during this season. Wouldn’t it be a dangerous thing if adults wanted to play “dress up” everyday?

That’s what Sean Grayson did.

On July 6, Sonya Massey called 911 for help, but hate “dressed up” and responded to her call. She was calling for help in multiple ways and didn’t realize it.  But no one was aware that there had been an ongoing “Costume Party” at the Sangamon County Sheriff's Office.  Well…except for Sheriff Jack Campbell.

You see, Jack Campbell looked at Sean Grayson’s history, which included but not limited to: discharged from the Army for misconduct, employed by six different agencies in a three-year time span, complaints by citizens for misconduct during arrests, and falsifying police reports (St. Clair, 2024). This is enough to realize that the person wearing the uniform, could care less about his character, right? For some reason, Jack Campbell found it impressive that Sean Grayson has been playing “dress up” throughout his career and hired him.  He gave him another uniform to pretend in. The problem with this is that Sean Grayson wasn’t playing with other children. As a matter of fact, he seemed to possibly be the only one fantasizing that it was Halloween.

As I mentioned earlier, as kids, we loved to be other people!  As we grew older, we became those people (some good and some bad). However, as adults, we realize that putting on a costume is simply and solely for fun. For recreation. For entertainment. And never…reality or purpose. How is it that some adults have made it a career?

Sonya Massey did something that all of us have done in essence…called for help.  Whenever you need something, the opposite won’t do. She needed help…she needed help…she needed HELP. Instead, hate walked up to her door and knocked. Sonya answered because she believed that her answer was on the other side of her door.

I should be allowed to believe that when I hear knocking at my door, that it’s redemption and not the last date on my tombstone.

As a Black woman, it’s already been decided that my cry for help isn’t warranted, but concocted.  That places me at a disadvantage in the race.  I’ve read the unfortunate statistics about how we’re viewed…down to the healthcare we receive, in comparison to females of other ethnicities.  I can’t say it enough! A call for help, should be just that and nothing more or less.

When I was a child, none of my friends nor myself, even thought to “dress up” as hate or pretend to be racism. Those are just not the costume of choice for most. But for some, it’s what they put on every. single. day.

And now:

Sonya Massey’s children have a warped perspective of protection.

They don’t trust people in uniforms.

Their desire to call for help is now muted.

Their hearts are broken.

They must grow up without a mother. Their mother.

Not only that, but:

Sonya’s parents had to bury what they birthed.

They feel helpless that they couldn’t protect what they always have.

They won’t get to celebrate their child’s 40th birthday.

Their everyday life looks different because a piece of their very being has been taken.

They know this should’ve never happened.

What is even more heartbreaking is that the people who should have been protecting, continued to harm Sonya’s family by lying to them about how she was killed. They told them that an intruder killed her and also, that she committed suicide (St. Clair, 2024).  The sheriff’s department wasn’t interested in protecting citizens, as much as they were themselves.

This is why it's important for us to show up for our family and friends, so people like Sean Grayson don't.

The bottom line to all of this is that mental health can’t respond to mental health. Patients in a hospital can’t help each other get better, because they both need the same thing…help. In Sonya’s case, mental health showed up with a gun.

I always thought that playing “dress up” was supposed to give life to imagination and possibility, instead of ending life and removing possibility. But tragically on July 6, in Sonya's home, it became the definition of death. She was the 701st person to be killed this year and since her death a month ago, 59 more people have been killed by...the... police. (St. Clair, 2024).

Simply put, protection imposters must be stopped. Too many Black women have been victimized at the expense of those who can't handle any kind of authority/power.

Can you imagine a plumber dressing up as a medical surgeon, walking in an operating room and being allowed to perform surgery?

Neither could Sonya Massey, but it's the story of the last few seconds of her life.

 St. Clair, J. (2024, August 2). "I'll F***ing Shoot You in the Face": The Police Murder of Sonya Massey. CounterPunch. Retrieved August 5, 2024, from counterpunch.org